Like it or not, you may experience radio silence after a date even if you thought it went well. Rejection can feel like a real punch in the gut, especially if you had no indication the date was going south. Men and women each have their own reasons for not texting again after the initial date. This is why putting yourself in their shoes may not necessarily be the best advice every time. Rather than going through an exhaustive postmortem to determine what went wrong with virtually no way of being able to validate your theories, it’s probably better to focus on improving your social skills.
Ask open-ended questions.
Whoever said talk is cheap must not have had to work in the dating scene to any serious extent. The ability to master small talk is at the core of most successful first dates. There’s a delicate balance you need to achieve when you’re trying to get to know someone new on a more intimate level. As you try to manage your nerves, you also have to consciously make an effort to monitor the amount of information you reveal and attempt to extract. You don’t want to be too superficial, but at the same time, you don’t want to be too forward or upfront.
How exactly do you walk this tightrope and maintain her interest beyond the first date? Most importantly, don’t ask questions that can easily have one-word responses. Ask more open-ended questions, especially when you stumble across a common interest. Even polar opposites can still engage in prolonged conversations when you get them to expand on what they like, or are even embarrassed to admit what they like. The longer you talk, the better sense you should have regarding whether you’re making a connection or not.
Be honest, not rude.
If your date expresses views that are opposite to your beliefs, don’t feel as though you have to continually agree with everything she says at first. Although the consensus is comforting, most people instinctively know whether or not you’re just pandering to them. After a time, the conversation will become stale, and you may even come across as a little too desperate. This is an opportunity for the dialogue to get interesting, but it shouldn’t be a vehicle to belittle someone for their values. It’s fine to try to gain further understanding, but this early stage in the relationship is no time for a serious debate.
If the conversation is boring for you, odds are it isn’t very stimulating for your partner either. Be on the lookout for cues if you two just aren’t compatible, or test the waters to see if it’s the time to open up and ask your date something a little more personal. You can begin by confessing something about yourself, like how awkward you think first dates can be because of the small talk. Unfortunately, a key reason most women opt out of a second date is due to the poor first impression they get from these exchanges, so it’s worth making an effort to be conscientious about it when you’re looking to USA single ladies.
