Statistics have shown that the number of people who divorce later in life is on the rise. Over the past three decades, the rate of divorce for persons older than 50 has more than doubled in a phenomenon that has become dubbed as “gray divorce”. While you could feel a lot of excitement and be overwhelmed by the feelings of freedom after so many years being married, gray divorce often comes with their own set of complications or difficulties.
Reasons for the Rise of Gray Divorce
There is no one answer that can explain the rising incidence of gray divorce though there are a few factors that may be said to be significant contributors. Many people in their 50s are typically baby boomers who are probably in their second marriage. Research has shown that second marriages are more likely to break up than first marriages. Persons that have been divorced at least once find it easier to end subsequent marriages, with second marriages up to 2.5 times more likely to end in divorce.
Moreover, people are now living longer as compared to times past. Life expectancy rates have risen by a lot in the West and at fifty, many will still have about 30 more years of life in front of them. While some couples may have long-standing issues, these may have been swept under the carpet until the children grew up. Once the children become adults and leave the house, couples may find it harder to put up with the flaws of their partners and decide to divorce.
Are You at Risk?
Marriage is hard work, particularly because it requires a lifelong commitment to working together with another person who may have different goals and objectives. You have to respect and love your partner and find ways to find common ground even when you do not feel like it. However, a long marriage can get frayed on the edges particularly once the glue of children is no longer present.
You are at most risk of gray divorce if:
- Your children recently left the household as adults
- You no longer have intimate relations or do not spend much time with each other
- You fight all the time and have not been happy for a long time
- You suddenly or over time find that your goals in life have diverged
- You were divorced before
The Difficulties you May Experience with Gray Divorce
As compared to other divorces, a gray divorce could present more legal and financial problems. Since you have likely been together for many years or even decades, your lives are likely to be so intertwined that the separation will be very complicated, particularly when it comes to finances. For instance, it may be hard to determine what is yours and what is his/hers. Additionally, you will also have to deal with issues of health insurance, retirement, the splitting of assets and other benefits that you never thought about.
Financial – Younger people who divorce have a lot of time to bounce back from the financial consequences. If you are older than 50, you are probably setting in motion plans for retirement, or are very near to coming to the end of your earning period.
Competency/Poor Health – Since you are older, you may find that one party may have deteriorated mental capacity. For instance, you may find that your spouse has conditions associated with aging such as Dementia, that makes it difficult to reason with them. In such an instance, you will definitely require the services of an attorney who will request medical records and if necessary arrange for a court-appointed person (guardian ad litem) to represent the interests of the incompetent party.
Retirement – At 50 years or older, you will typically have retirement funds stowed away or if not have a retirement plan for both of you. Divorce means that the benefits that accrue from such plans or funds have to be divided or renegotiated, which can become quite a messy affair.
Life and Health Insurance – If you were on a joint plan or maybe were using your spouse’s’ plan, you may have to find new health insurance. Depending on your circumstances, you could find that you may have to downgrade your health plan or even be forced to depend on Medicare. You may have to acquire or renew a life insurance policy if you are paying alimony.
Given all the complications, the attorneys at DeShon Laraye Pullen PLC always advise that you weigh the pros and cons of gray divorce before filing your papers. It is never advisable to go on with gray divorce if it is going to turn your life upside down, or if you do not have a concrete plan in place for life after divorce. Nonetheless, if you have irreconcilable differences with your spouse and have made the decision that you have to divorce, a knowledgeable and compassionate lawyer can make the divorce process more bearable.
