You’re completely devastated. You still love your ex-girlfriend and want her back, but she’s already moved on. So, how can you get her to come back to you? Here are a few tips on how to get your ex back when she has moved on.
The “No Contact” Rule
First, implement the “no contact” rule for 30 days. This means stay out of her phone, her social media, and her usual circles. For 30 days. Yes, it sounds impossible to do. But, relationship experts use the “no contact” rule for two reasons.
Reason One: immediately after a breakup, you’re at an emotional high, and it’s not a good one. You’re angry, you’re tearful, you may even be hateful. And this isn’t a good place for anyone to be, much less someone who wants to get their ex back.
Reason Two: The ex-girlfriend is going to wonder why you’re not talking to her, and might even begin to miss your conversations and text sessions. She might even miss the lovely beautiful Xmas gifts for her that you used to get. She might wonder why she hasn’t seen you on Facebook, and this is going to lead to her thinking about you more and more.
She will probably try to text you or post on your social media, but it’s extremely important that you completely ignore her at this stage. It’s possible you’ll hear from mutual friends that she’s bad-mouthing you and it may seem that she doesn’t want anything to do with you. But, remember reason number one of the “no contact” rule and understand that she’s emotional, too.
There are unusual circumstances where you can’t use the “no contact” rule. If you live together, you’ll want to be a good roommate and be respectful. Keep your interactions pleasant and short. In the event you have kids together, use the same reasoning; be nice but keep it short and sweet.
Why Did You Break Up?
Examining your past relationship is important to discover the reason you broke up in the first place. You don’t want history to repeat itself and you can’t prevent that if you don’t know what happened to destroy your relationship.
When She Broke Up with You
Yes, getting dumped sucks. So, let’s look at your breakup and figure out how to approach getting your ex back. Here are some common reasons women break up with men.
- She’s no longer attracted to you (keeping up physical appearance may go a long way to getting her back).
- She’s getting bored with you.
- Her needs are not being filled (emotional or sexual).
- She doesn’t know what she wants.
When You Broke Up with Her
Just because you broke it off doesn’t mean it will be easier to get her back. Maybe you thought (but were wrong) that she was cheating on you. This will make her think you don’t trust her, and she’ll always be worried about making you mad.
Or maybe she did cheat on you. You were faithful but she wasn’t. This is where you must do some soul-searching to decide if this person is worth having in your life. And if you can’t forgive entirely (without using it against her later), you probably shouldn’t try to salvage the relationship.
Maybe you’re not attracted to her anymore. Yeah, it happens if your ex lets herself go. And sometimes in long-term relationships, the whole you-know-each-other-too-well does occur. You’ll have to work harder to make your relationship more interesting.
Clearly Define Your Goal
Before working to get your ex back, clearly define what you want to happen. Do you want her back in an exclusive relationship? Would you rather casually date for a while? Whatever you desire, your old relationship is dead and it must stay that way. Put it aside. Start over again and try to avoid the mistakes you made the first time.
Your main goal should be to create and maintain a relationship with your ex that is better than your prior interactions. Present yourself as the kind of man who will do anything to stay with her. Show her that you mean business.
And you need to be aware if you were abused either physically or mentally (or in any way), you should never EVER try to get back with the person who abused you.
