Going through a divorce can be emotionally challenging for anyone involved. When you have children, the divorce process can be even more difficult. Going to your first child custody consultation may seem intimidating, so knowing what to expect may help.
What Happens During the Consultation?
At your first consultation, a lawyer will gather information about the facts surrounding your divorce. The attorney will ask about any plans in place for school, childcare, and your children’s activities. They will need financial information about you and your spouse. Each spouse’s housing situation and support system will be considered.
Divorce laws and the standards for granting custody differ from state to state. After gathering your information, the attorney will review how the laws in your state relate to your quest for child custody. After your initial consultation, your lawyer will often email you to keep you updated on the case’s legal progress. After all, over 280 million emails are exchanged every day, and it’s an efficient way to keep in touch.
What About Finances?
Although a parent’s finances are not the only factor in deciding custody, it is important. The court will want to ensure the child has enough food and a safe place to live. During your initial consultation, the lawyer will ask about your bank accounts and any retirement accounts. They’ll want to know about any income you have, such as SSI (Social Security Income.) If you are disabled and have a low income, you’d be eligible for SSI benefits. You wouldn’t be alone either, as the Social Security Administration said over 70,000 people received SSI in February 2022. Your spouse’s lawyer will gather the same information about your spouse.
What About Your Children?
During the initial phase of the custody proceedings, the home of each spouse will be scrutinized to determine how suitable it is for raising a child. In most states, the custody decision will be made by considering who will represent the child’s best interests. Often, both parents are law-abiding, loving parents who will offer a seemingly good home for the children. However, the court must decide on child custody by the end of the proceedings.
Unless one of the parents has been abusing the child or charged with a significant crime, the custody decision won’t usually be a slam dunk for either parent. The court will need to weigh all the significant details about both patents. The judge will often ask the child who they prefer to live with. Although the court will listen to a child to determine which parent’s home they prefer, the child’s decision isn’t legally binding.
What About the Future?
The more information you give your lawyer at your initial consultation, the better prepared they will be to help you through the custody portion of your divorce hearing. Be supportive of your child as they voice their reaction to the proceedings. After the court case is over and the custody arrangement becomes your new normal, you and your children will learn to adjust to the court’s decision.
Even if you are not awarded custody of your children, try to learn to accept the court’s decision. Anger over the decision will affect your relationship with your child. After all, even if the average child spends 277 days per year with their custodial parent, that leaves 89 days yearly you’ll be able to spend with your children. Custody agreements often change over time, so there’s always a possibility that your visitation may increase in the future.
Both you and your spouse are parents of your children. If you can agree with your spouse about the details of a custody agreement, writing out those details before your initial consultation may help make the process easier for everyone, including your children. Finding a lawyer you can trust and working with them during the trial process is your best strategy while trying to gain custody of your children.
