If you and your partner are thinking of getting a divorce, you may be feeling a lot of different emotions. For some, it can be a relief, but for others, it can be stressful and emotionally draining. It’s certainly never easy, but by taking the time to prepare yourself and really think about the decision you’re making, you can get through it.
Take some time to sit down alone and think about everything that is happening. Your initial reaction may be to try and keep busy, but in many cases, this can make the situation worse. Below, we are going to take a look at ten questions you should ask yourself before starting the divorce process.
Let’s get started.
What are the main problems in your marriage?
The very first thing you should do when thinking about divorce is determining what the problems are in your marriage. This will help shed some light on why you are even thinking about separating in the first place. If you don’t believe there is anything wrong, try and see things from your partner’s perspective. Remember, marriage is a contract between two people, and both need to be open-minded about the process.
Is it possible to improve our marriage?
Once you’ve identified what the main problems are, you want to see if there is any way to improve your marriage. Divorce should really be a last resort, so before jumping into it, try and rekindle your romance. It may even be beneficial to speak to a relationship counselor. Yes, the sessions can be painful at first, but many couples have had a lot of progress.
What do I have in mind for the future?
Choosing to end your relationship is one thing, but you still need to think about where you wish to be in the future. Will you be able to move out and live by yourself? Are you thinking about entering another relationship or staying single? All of these questions will help you grasp the reality of a divorce. It’s not to scare you off, but instead help prepare you so that you can cope with all of the different changes.
Can we settle this between ourselves?
Divorce is a very lengthy and expensive process if you choose to make it that way. Once you have both decided to end things, try and see if you can come to a final verdict by yourselves. This includes what you are going to do with your assets, children, and other shared responsibilities. It isn’t always possible, but if you both work together and settle things on a good note, it will help you both financially and emotionally.
Do I know what professionals to contact?
When finally going through with the paperwork, you want to take time to find the right professionals to help, especially if you’re going to need legal support. Look for somewhere with experience, and reliability, like this established West Virginia law firm. It can even be worth getting some recommendations and looking at testimonials online. You want someone that is both understanding and sensitive but determined to help at the same time.
How can I protect my assets?
When it comes to protecting your assets during a divorce, honesty is the best policy. Don’t hide or conceal assets and instead, spend time gather receipts and speaking to your lawyer. Make sure that you also start the process of changing beneficiaries and closing joint accounts so that you can build up your own credit. It’s one of the best ways to protect yourself, and doing it early on will ensure you don’t forget later.
What will happen with the children?
Without a doubt, divorcing when you have children can be extremely difficult. Alongside managing your own emotions, you need to ensure that they understand what is going on. You should never hide things from them because this will just cause further issues.
Speak to your partner about arrangements before going through a lawyer. You may be able to come to an agreement that everyone is ok with. Remember, you should never hold grudges and still respect that you are both the mother and father of your children. Check out these myths about divorce with kids for more information.
How will I support myself financially?
While it is possible to have a quick divorce that is somewhat affordable, it doesn’t always end up that way. If you don’t work or don’t earn enough to support yourself, you should start thinking about what steps you should take. Begin a budget, start building savings and speak with a financial advisor about what to do next. This way, you are preventing yourself from ending up in debt and can still support you and your family when things finally end.
What are my future goals?
Once your divorce is settled, things are going to be very different. It’s a good idea to have your future goals written down so that you can aspire to achieve them. It could be something like traveling to another destination, moving to your favorite city, or getting that dream job. Trust us when we say this will really help you emotionally as you can feel excited about what is next to come.
Am I ready for this?
Lastly, the most important question you need to ask yourself before starting the process is if you are ready for it. While reading through the above, you probably realize that there is a lot to think about. Take some time to prepare yourself, and let your partner know that you need space to clear your head. It’s better to go into things with a clear mind rather than holding on to those first initial emotions.
Final Thoughts
Divorce is going to be challenging for everyone, but by taking the time to answer these questions, you can take care of your wellbeing while working things out with your partner. Remember, if you are struggling, there is always support out there to help.
