Your five-year relationship ended months ago. You and your boyfriend (aka ex-boyfriend now) saw how the relationship struggled and agreed that the both of you need some time apart. But now that you no longer get to see him as often as before, you start to miss him. You see yourself stalking all of his social media accounts just to see how he’s doing. And whenever he’s with another girl, you can’t help but feel jealous. Your days after the break up were mostly spent on stalking your ex, thinking about your ex and regretting the decision you had with your ex. After thinking about it, you’re now determined to get your ex-boyfriend back. You realize that your life was so much happier with him around. To help you achieve that goal and finally turn things around, use the tips below:
- Don’t try to get your ex back now: Regardless of how you want to be back in your ex’s arms once again, control yourself not to do anything just yet. It’s important to discipline yourself by cutting off possible means of communication with your ex. This means you have to stop calling or texting him. You should also stop commenting or liking all of his pictures on social media. This will give you some time to yourself and to let your ex realize how much he has lost for letting you go.
When your ex contacts you first, don’t reply immediately. Show him that you have control by waiting for minutes to respond. Being available whenever your ex reaches out to you can also affect his ego. When you’re doing all of these, you’re not convincing your ex to get back to you; you’re actually giving him the chance to realize how he wants to be with you again.
- Create a new lifestyle: Being in a long-term relationship means doing almost everything with your boyfriend. The two of you might already share the same interests and group of friends. Although it can be difficult, being single is the perfect time to create a new lifestyle. Go out of your comfort zone by trying new sports, meeting new people and trying out another hobby. Once you’re exposed to new things with new people, your perspective will change. You’ll be able to discern on the choices you made and how you can possibly correct them. Plus, an improved person can also translate to an improved relationship in the future.
- Don’t find another guy: When someone wants their ex back, they’d use another person from the other sex to get the ex jealous. Don’t be in a rebound relationship if you want to get your ex back. Your ex will only hate you thinking that you’re someone who can easily throw away everything about the relationship. Plus, you’ll only end up hurting the “other guy” especially if he really has genuine feelings towards you. You can make your ex jealous but you should do it in a smarter way. You can let him see that other guys are interested in you but don’t let him have the impression that you envy some random guy, too. Most importantly, don’t post pictures in your social media while you’re drunk in another guy’s arms. Doing this might get the attention of your ex but for the wrong reasons.
- Reflect on the reasons why your relationship ended: Being alone gives you the time to think things over, including the reasons why your relationship ended. Think if you’re too strict as a girlfriend or if you’re not giving too much time in the relationship. Assess if you’re too childish for your ex-boyfriend’s mentality or if you still have other priorities in life. You should be open-minded during this phase and even use other resources such as American Dating Society. Once you know what these reasons are, you’ll know what to avoid if you get back in the relationship. You’ll not be caught in the cycle of making up and breaking up repeatedly.
- Contact your ex-boyfriend only when you have a healthy mindset: Once you have done all of the steps in the list, it’s time to contact your ex. But no, this doesn’t mean you have to be over the top in telling him how much you miss him. You can start your conversation by telling him how you’re craving for his favorite restaurant or how you were reminded of him because of a movie you saw. Bringing back positive memories together can help him remember how wonderful you are as a girlfriend. Start slow, listen to him, and be ready to make some changes to help improve and move forward with any new relationship.
First Things First
Regardless of how many times you think you’ll always make decisions in life which you will regret eventually. Fortunately, all is not lost; there are things which you can do in order to make things better – and that includes getting your ex back. You can pour out all of your time and effort just to achieve that goal. But just like anything else in this world, you should know when to stop. Respecting yourself is important. If you’ve exhausted all that you have and you still didn’t get your ex back, start living life on your own. Don’t forget to love yourself and in time you never know he may come back to you.
Angela Hopkins
Angela is an open and honest girl who enjoys the intricacies of relationships and dating. Fascinated by the bonds and connections of couples, she’s started her journey to become a couples therapist. Angela loves to write on behalf of sites like asnamnat.org and enjoys getting out in the sun.
